Home LivingI love growing houseplants and here is how I avoid killing them (usually)Be a better plant parent and commit less houseplant homicide with this beginner’s guideWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
Home LivingI love growing houseplants and here is how I avoid killing them (usually)Be a better plant parent and commit less houseplant homicide with this beginner’s guideWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
Be a better plant parent and commit less houseplant homicide with this beginner’s guide
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Duncan Bell)
(Image credit: Duncan Bell)
I’ve been growing house plants for 20 years now, and I finally seem to have reached the point where I don’t kill them. I am too lazy to wipe leaves down – putting them under a low-pressure shower works okay for getting dust and crud off the leaves – but I do all the repotting, and the watering and the feeding and it really doesn’t take all that much of my time. It is also kind of therapeutic, especially after years of accidentally ruining plants and being surrounded with sad, brown-looking specimens that were too weak to fend off bugs and infections.
The worst mistake Ievermade with a plant was to knock over a potted cactus and attempt to catch it on its way off the window sill. Please, I beg you, do not ever do this. Receiving dozens of tiny wounds simultaneously can make you nearly faint, like receiving one large, proper wound. And on that occasion, the pot still smashed anyway. Sad times. In ascending order, here are the other mistakes I’ve made when trying to grow house plants. Avoid all these, and you will be more of a plant parent and less of a flora killer.
1. Buying crap plants in the first place
Buying very established plants is a safe but expensive way to shop(Image credit: Getty)
Buying very established plants is a safe but expensive way to shop
Buying very established plants is a safe but expensive way to shop
(Image credit: Getty)
I am pretty good at avoiding this when shopping for myself now. The bad news is, other people still gift me plants, and then we have to have an awkward conversation where I am trying to appear grateful, rather than saying, “Why have you given me a dead plant as a present?”
The things to look out for are so obvious. Yes I know British people hate to make a fuss in a shop but if the plant has any crispy or brown leaves, odd-looking patches of colour on the leaves, droopiness (in non-droopy plants), either move on to the next plant, or ask the shop guy, “How can I revive this wack-looking plant?”
Most importantly, if you observe any kind of mould, or any insects that appear to have come from the soil of the plant, move on immediately. Unless, of course, you prefer being a plant doctor to a plant parent, like some kind of Mother Theresa of the Shrubbery.
The other thing you should absolutely do is have a spot in your home in mind, and ask, “how much light does this plant need?” If it’s for your windowless bathroom, for instance, it will almost certainly die unless you get a plant so shade-loving, it is basically the goth of the plant world.
If the shop guy doesn’t know the answer, there’s always the internet, but make sure the advice you get is from the same country as you’re in. I thought for years that it was hard to grow aloe vera indoors, but it turned out that advice was from an American website – seriously, aloe grows like giant hogweed in most British homes.
Sign up to the T3 newsletter for smarter living straight to your inbox
Get all the latest news, reviews, deals and buying guides on gorgeous tech, home and active products from the T3 experts
2. Overwatering your plants
(Image credit: Getty)
Yes, I saidoverwatering.
Now, one of the most frustrating things about growing house plants is that if you don’t water them enough, they go brown and shrivel up. And if you water them too much, they go brown and shrivel up. Seriously, what the hell kind of a half-baked system is this, Mother Nature?
Give the plant enough water that it starts to run out of the bottom of the pot and then leave it to ‘soak’ for a while. I usually go 10-15 minutes, because I gangster like that. Then remove that excess water, let it drain, and remove any further water that comes out.
And this brings me on to another crucial error that some people make…
3. Keeping your plants in a pot with no holes in the bottom
What, are you nuts? Why would youdothis?Neverdo this. Ideally you want to not just have holes in the bottom of your pot but also some sort of matter – bark chips or clay balls – to lift it off the surface of the plate, tray or pot holder beneath it.
4. Thinking all you have to do is water your plants
Yes, you reallyaresupposed to do this(Image credit: Getty)
Yes, you reallyaresupposed to do this
Yes, you reallyaresupposed to do this
(Image credit: Getty)
I was shocked to discover, recently, that house plant ownership is now an on-trend pastime, popular on TikTok. I was muchlesssurprised to learn that the most popular plant among younger house plant fans is the monstera, aka the Swiss cheese plant. Why? Because this plant, which is frankly butt-ugly, is also almost impossible to kill. It doesn’t need lots of care and attention to keep looking its best because ‘its best’ is really not all that attractive anyway. If you’re this way inclined, some other retro/crap houseplants that will appeal to you are the spider plant and yucca palm. They are also all-but unkillable. However, even a monstera will benefit from having its dust-magnet leaves wiped regularly.
More delicate plants can require everything from wiping, spraying and fertilising to pest control, pruning and special lighting that mimics sunlight. Everything short of a bloody massage, in short. So if you’re thinking of getting serious with your house plant collection, keep in mind that it will become rather time consuming.
5. Over fertilising
6. Having too many plants
Calm it down, mate(Image credit: Getty)
Calm it down, mate
Calm it down, mate
(Image credit: Getty)
It’s a matter of taste of course, but for me, this guy has too many big plants. Less is more. You’re generally better off pairing some medium-sized plants with small ones in a space, with maybe 1 big statement plant in your larger, well-lit rooms. Otherwise it ends up being too much work to maintain, and your home starts to resemble a jungle.
To be fair, that is what my home is increasingly like, but do as I say, not as I do.
EcoFlow DELTA 3 Plus review: Lightning-fast charging with a noisy flawCompact, fast and powerful power station with one frustrating flaw
Compact, fast and powerful power station with one frustrating flaw
Samsung Galaxy S25: every leak, rumour and spec we’ve heard before the launch eventThis is everything we’ve heard about the new handsets
This is everything we’ve heard about the new handsets
