ActiveOutdoorsOuterwearI walked through a car wash to test how waterproof Gore-Tex jackets areWhen the wilderness feels far away, you need to take a creative approach to testing outdoor kitWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
ActiveOutdoorsOuterwearI walked through a car wash to test how waterproof Gore-Tex jackets areWhen the wilderness feels far away, you need to take a creative approach to testing outdoor kitWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
When the wilderness feels far away, you need to take a creative approach to testing outdoor kit
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Pat KInsella)
(Image credit: Pat KInsella)
I’ve been reviewing outdoor gear for well over two and a half decades now, but never before have I been asked to walk through a car wash in order to test out some weatherproof clothing. Which basically meant that when the question was posed, Ihadto say yes. Just so I could tick this off my bucket list if nothing else.
OK, where are the bodies?(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
OK, where are the bodies?
OK, where are the bodies?
(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
So after showing up in Shoreditch – home of hipster culture, good coffee and, apparently, human-friendly car washes – I was pointed towards a rack of clothes and invited to climb into some garments of my choice. There wasn’t much left in my size, but soon I was suited in some very high-end gear from theNorse Project Arktisk range(including a silvery-white 3-layer Gore-Tex jacket and trousers combo) and booted in a pair of mid-height hoofs fromAdidas Terrex(both retailer links).
(Image credit: Pat KInsella)
(Image credit: Pat KInsella)
The day was mercilessly humid, and while Gore-Tex is demonstrably breathable, there are definitely limits to its powers. Funnily enough, these expensive 3-layer waterproof shell layers were not designed for wearing while standing in the full glare of the sun on a hot street corner in the middle of August, so I was very relieved when it was my turn to enter the manmade cascade.
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(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
I was, however, subjected to the sustained onslaught of lots of waterjets, squirting at us from all angles, some of them pretty powerfully (hence the goggles). And, lo and behold, when I merged, my undergarments were as dry as a dad joke in the desert – although my face was shiny and clean.
The thing is, I know very wellhow Gore-Tex works. Last October, I spent four daysfastpackingthe West Highland Way, during which the Scottish sky did nothing but throw water at me (with the kind of energy that would make the car wash weep with envy) and theHaglöfs LIM ZT Shell GTX Pro PantsandJacket(both retailer links) I wore throughout that adventure kept me bone dry, thanks to this marvellous membrane.
I also appreciate that there arevarious types of Gore-Tex– including Gore-Tex Pro – and that it can be applied in a number of ways, with different levels of layering, all of which can make the garment in question better (or worse) for wearing in particular conditions, locations and situations, and that almost none of those scenarios involve a car wash in the middle of a capital city.
Testing Gore-Tex gear in real conditions(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
Testing Gore-Tex gear in real conditions
Testing Gore-Tex gear in real conditions
(Image credit: Pat Kinsella)
But does that really matter? Obviously I’d much rather test outdoor kit in the hills, moors and mountains – and that’s what I do 100% of the time when I’m not walking through car washes in expensive jackets – but you definitely can use a manmade machine to assess the performance levels of a piece of kit; factories do it all the time. And I must admit, there were some advantages to this city set-up – not least, being able to get hold of a killer coffee straight after peeling my protective layers off instead of crawling into a damp tent and trying to spark up a camping stove.
And it gave me pause for thought, too. Because I’m nasty, I’ve spent years sniggering at people wearing high-end outdoor gear in urban settings, but for one day at least, I had joined them (albeit in the strangest of ways). But it turns out karma had been waiting for its moment to strike. As soon as I had given all the Gore-Tex gear back, the sky darkened, the day broke, and I had to walk around town in torrential rain, looking enviously at people in their nice breathable waterproof jackets.
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